Ways to Beat Wednesday: Jealousy

02.20.19

We have all been there.

Jealousy is something EVERYONE faces. You know the green-eyed monster. It's when that girl from your freshman year dorm posts that she got Dean's list when you did not do so well that semester. It's seeing someone get engaged, but you're very single. Feeling jealous or envious of someone is not really a good feeling to harbor, so here are some ways to beat it!

1. You are on your own timeline. This is something I have to constantly remind myself. It's hard to watch people get engaged, find a job, get a new car, or graduate and not feel a tinge of jealousy if you are wanting the same things. When feelings of jealousy come out, I tell myself that this is not my timeline. It's theirs. Everything happens when its supposed to, it's the way life works. Focus on yourself and where your actions are taking you. 
2. Recognize people's posts exclude the majority of their life. Social media, whether you believe it to be good or bad, plays a big part in everyone's life. Consistently seeing people's lives being plastered and fantasized on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram can make jealousy a prevalent feeling. Despite great accomplishments being posted, that does not mean there was not hardship or hard work that came along with it. If you find these outlets continuously bringing you negative feelings, take a break! There is nothing wrong with this, and I have noticed more and more people doing it.                                      
3. Make a gratitude list. I love making these lists because it really puts life into perspective. Write down everything in your life that you are grateful for. Mine would start off with my family, faith, and friends and could range from anything like my education to the breakfast I had this morning. By doing this, you focus on the things you have and have experienced rather than the things you think you need or want.
4. Go Outside or hang out with friends. I am a firm believer that spending some time outside can heal nearly any negative emotion. Take a moment and be present by silencing your phone. Take a hike, a walk, or a run. Sit down in the grass on a blanket. Eno at your favorite park. Find something you enjoy doing outdoors. If you absolutely hate going outside or the weather is not permitting, hang out with friends who lift you up. You know who they are, they are the friends who reflect your best traits and values; the ones who radiate happiness. The whole idea is to get your mind off of what's bothering you and surrounding yourself with positivity.       
5. Someone's Success or Possessions Does Not Define You. Seeing other people have what you want can be triggering. However, them being successful in any category of life does not mean that you cannot be successful in the same way. No two people's life journey is the same, and there is enough room for all of us to find our own happiness. Instead of being so wrapped up in someone's life, figure out what steps you can take to reach your goals and your dreams rather than tearing yourself down. You are not any less of a human being if you don't reach your goals, and you are not unworthy of happiness if you don't own the nicest things. 

“A flower does not think of competing to the flower next to it. It just blooms.”

-Zen Shin Talks by Koshin Ogui